Anatomy of a Chinese tour group

Hella rice
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Hella rice12-Aug-2009 07:53, OLYMPUS IMAGING CORP. u1030SW,S1030SW , 4.5, 5.0mm, 0.002 sec, ISO 80
 

  • Try to arrange local transport to Dragon’s Backbone rice terraces. Hostel confirms that the bus is not a tour.
  • Get picked up at 8:30am by a large tour bus with 30 Chinese tourists, all wielding expensive cameras.
  • Listen to a description of the tour by your guide, “Nick”, as he gives you a complete breakdown of the day’s itinerary and pre-determined attractions.
  • The most important thing to remember is, “Don’t get lost!”
  • Realized we’ve been duped and are on a Chinese tour.
  • Always follow the flag/umbrella/beacon of your group so you don’t get separated from the tour.
  • Check out the hillside village of Ping An within a scanty 2 hours.
  • Sample traditional dishes (bamboo rice) at the same tourist restaurant as everyone else for exorbitant prices.
  • Take pictures of the impressive Dragon’s Backbone rice terraces from designated vista points.

TD getting married in a traditional ceremony
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TD getting married in a traditional ceremony12-Aug-2009 09:20, OLYMPUS IMAGING CORP. u1030SW,S1030SW , 4.3, 14.67mm, 0.013 sec, ISO 800
 

  • Don’t forget to buy something!
  • Absorb interesting observations from your guide, such as, “This road into the mountains was built 3 years ago. Before that, local people can do nothing and make no money. Now, they can make money from tourism and are very happy. They can go to school and buy more things and have more money. So the road is very good and important for local people.”
  • Enjoy a cultural show by the Bai minority people inside a newly built tourist center within the village.
  • Pay extra for the privilege, as this show is not included in the original cost and there is no where else to go.
  • “Volunteer” to get married to a Bai woman in a traditional ceremony “just for fun”.
  • Half way through the ceremony get pulled back stage where you are informed you need to buy a wedding gift for your new wife, here are the 4 choices and prices.
  • Get pissed off.
  • Return on bus and get dropped off at 6pm.

4 Comments

  • Alexis says:

    STAY ON THE BEATEN PATH. STAY ON THE BEATEN PATH. NOW PAY, PLEASE.

  • kirby says:

    still, it was beautiful, wasn’t it?

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